Thursday, August 18, 2011

To be frustrated and humbled

First off- I can't imagine a life apart from Christ. A life where my existence and my happiness and my joy are based off so many things that are out of my control. Where I don't know where to turn when I'm angry, frustrated, scared, depressed, exhausted, angry. Don't get me wrong- I have experienced (sometimes all in one day) all of those emotions and walking with Christ doesn't mean I experience them any less. The thing that separates me from those not walking with Him, what separates believers from non-believers, is that when I'm faced with situations that produce those emotions I am reminded to lay them at the cross and seek His face for answers. The answers might not come in the time frame that I would like, but I can trust that He is at work and that He will produce a good work in me through trusting and being obedient to Him.

Tonight I was frustrated. It's frustrating to see people you love so much searching for answers and know that THE answer, the only answer, is a relationship with Jesus. He's not a magic wand, He won't make the babies stop crying or the bills stop coming, but the peace and freedom they could experience in Him would be beyond the temporary joy they might feel now. And yet when I want to present that answer to them, or something similar to that, I get cut off. Dismissed. Ignored. And in turn that frustrates me. But once the dust dies down I am humbled. I am humbled because I know that once again answers will come but perhaps, once again, not in my time. And in the mean time I am called to love these people, all people, and model true servant leadership that puts the needs of others before myself. That does not keep a record of wrongs but loves despite them. And so I continue to love and listen. And be patient. And that's where I am tonight.

1 comment:

Mrs. E said...

You are such a good person, such a good woman. I'm so glad that the student can be the teacher-- the example. You remind me that I learn more from my students than I teach. I miss you, girl!