Monday, May 27, 2013


Well I am a year older. And wiser. And more beautiful, of course. Some people mark time by the calendar year or school year. I keep track of time that way too but my birthday is so close to the end of the school that I am in for double reflection when May 25 comes around. I also graduated this year so you can add that to the list of opportunities for me to reflect on the past and look to the future. Before I look at the past year I'm going to go back to last year on my birthday.

My birthday has always fallen on Memorial Day weekend. I grew up in a family that spent Memorial Day in a cemetery and not at the lake, which means any year now were I don't have to do that, I already consider it a great birthday (I can pay respect to those that have gone before without spending my birthday in the cemetery). As an adult, trying to plan a birthday with your friends always proves to be problematic which I have just come to accept. Anyway, last year I turned 30. For some this can/is seen as a scary thing, but I embraced the new decade. I was in a job that I enjoyed, pursuing an education that challenged me, reconnecting with old friends and making new, and feeling healthy for the first time in a long time. It was a season of thankfulness.

Now it's not to say that I'm not thankful now. I look at my life and I know that I am very fortunate. But to say that I am in the same season of life as last year just isn't the case. I'm in a season of waiting. And for anyone who knows me knows that waiting and practicing patience are NOT things that I am good at. But yet here I am at 31 and a few days and I am waiting. And trusting that God is good and that He is working where I cannot see. 

In the spirit of waiting, I was reminded Sunday that God desires to be my stronghold in the waiting. It is really easy to praise Him when we are in seasons of joy and thankfulness, totally different to worship Him when we are anxious/confused/nervous/afraid. And yet He desires to be the rock that I stand on. The place that I go when confronted with doubt. Psalm 27 reminds us of this. I take comfort in knowing I am not alone. I know that I am part of a community that waits with me and that I belong to a God that is present as I wait. 

Growing up in Kansas we are told that if we don't like the weather, wait awhile and it will change. I don't pretend to believe that life is like that, but I do know the seasons we are in don't last forever. But during these seasons I do know that God is refining me. He continues to mold me into the person He has already created me to be. And so I wait. 

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